October 07, 2005
Let's see if the coffee is still delicious...
Coffee has a lot of symbolism to different cultures. I love the symbolism in Turkey that merges coffee with relationships. In Turkey, marriages are arranged. Arranged marriages uphold the old tradition where parental opinions have great weight in the union between their children. Enter a meeting ceremony centered around coffee. A Turkish boy will go to the house of girl that he wished to marry and sit and have coffee with the future mother in law. The girl will remain in the kitchen to prepare the delicious coffee. Coffee can act as a face saving mechanism. Perhaps, the mother does not think the girl is a good match, perhaps she is not pretty enough, smart enough or just not a good match. After the meeting, the mother will simply say, “the coffee was not delicious.” Clever in that no one loses face. Due to the nature of the ceremony, the boy can also be tricked into marrying a girl that is less than desirable. Perhaps while the mothers are meeting, the girl may employ her friend to make the delicious coffee instead of herself, thereby avoiding demonstrating that she has poor culinary skills. The coffee may taste delicious now, but will it continue to be delicious in the future? The girl can also use this meeting to communicate as well. Perhaps, if the girl is being forced into marriage to this boy, she uses coffee to communicate this. She might spill the delicious coffee on the boy while serving it. She might mix in salt into the delicious coffee instead of sugar. Watch the signs of the coffee delivery carefully. As with all things, it is likely the mother who has the last say. Even after the marriage has taken place, the mother can still express her displeasure with this union. She might suggest to the son in reference to a daughter in law that does not meet her expectations, “Let’s just see if the coffee is still delicious…” and so the ceremony and the symbolism continues…
Posted by Erica at 03:55 am
That is so interesting. I’m glad the coffee still tastes good in my house (although, I’m the one who makes it). Hmmm. 
timsamoff (Email) (URL) - October 07, 2005 at 08:19 am
The coffee is always delicious and so is the tea. Welcome home here in the land of four seasons with open arms, Amighetti special whole, and Dierberg carmel apple.
M & D - October 09, 2005 at 4:55 pm
