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March 23, 2004 at 6:06 pm

Blogger Idol - Week 10: Childhood Treasures ("Life Full Circle")

Tomorrow morning, we’re heading out to Loveland, Colorado. Originally, we were supposed to be going on a ski trip with some people from our church, but the plans fell through. Rather than miss out on an opportunity, Julianna and I decided that we should still go.

It’s funny how we sometimes come to a place in life where pieces of the past come around to confront us — two points that took years to dislocate suddenly and immediately snap back to center with hardly a noticeable vibration. And here I am in the center, shaking my head and asking that age-old question: “Huh?!”

This past year has been full of these moments for Julianna and me (though, it all actually of began a few years ago when she and I began communicating with each other — but that’s altogether another story).

With the passing of Julianna’s father a few months ago, we were, for lack of a better word, forced to relive some old memories; memories of our lives with Julianna’s father, my father-in-law and family friend. It is quite sobering to look back at the time-line of my life and realize how many people had influence and how many situations occurred exactly how they were supposed to in order to deliver me somewhere new — of course, those somewheres being places that, miraculously, ended up shifting me even somewhere else…

Julianna’s family (now my in-laws) and my family were the best of friends at one time. Then, as is the outcome of changing seasons, our families’ paths diverged and we began to forge new lives that were very different than those that we knew. My family moved back to California and Julianna’s family, after a time, moved here to Missouri. During the following years, our families communicated little, but just enough to know how we were and what we were all doing. This kind of periodic communiqu? is nothing new to old friends who find themselves living miles apart.

But my wife’s family weren’t the only friends we had while in Colorado. In fact, our families were among many who suffered a multitude hardships (mental, physical, and spiritual) that come with leaving a cult. Amazingly, most of us survived. And very happily a number of us remained friends (even if distant).

Beginning with our marriage — and more distinctly, when my father-in-law died — our pasts were abruptly snapped back to center. Old friends and lost family members tend to come out of the woodwork in situations like these; people who you’d never think to see again appear out of the fog of lost recollections. For some this can be a traumatic experience. Thankfully, for us, each person who came to us became a treasure.

Since December, 2003, we have lost a lot, but we have also gained much. From the re-meeting of people who knew us as children to the first-time meeting of people who we had only ever heard about. It was a time of great pain, but also a time of healing; a deep kind of healing that isn’t very noticeable until later. We became reacquainted with family and friends and even got to meet and talk to the current leader of the Local Church, Benson Phillips, an old friend (I’d say ex-friend if it weren’t for this meeting) of my father-in-law’s (which surprised all of us by being more of a healing process than we could have ever imagined).

Tomorrow morning, we’re heading out to Loveland, Colorado. We are going to be staying with some friends who fit into this story nicely: Tom & Lynn Murphy. Tom & Lynn were friends of our parents and also fellow members in the Local Church. They withstood the turmoil of leaving the church with us and our communal crisis of trying to re-find an identity. They are friends who, to me, are a rock upon which to look; examples of how we should be as humans. There are few people like this in my life: my parents, my mother’s parents, Julianna’s mom and step-dad, and…the Murphys. I think I could probably list off a handful of others, but that’s it.

One of the first times I went snow skiing (and now that I think about it, the first time I ever went water skiing too), our family went with the Murphys. And, you know what? When Julianna began to ski, her family went with the Murphys as well. We used to do a lot together. We went camping. We went to visit National Parks. We had picnics and barbecues… And skiing.

And now, over twenty years later, Julianna and I (a miracle of convergence in and of itself) are going to drive to our friends’ house. Life full circle.

These moments and the memories of my past — these are all my childhood treasures. Though I am no longer a child, the reflection that I see in the present is that of my youth. And the future doesn’t seem so unfamiliar anymore.

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