Born: June 9, 1972
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May 19, 2005 at 10:37 am
Encouragement vs. Flattery
Last night, Mary led our Impact Group through Galatians 4. While reading the chapter, we came across this passage (Galatians 4:17, The Message):
Those heretical teachers go to great lengths to flatter you, but their motives are rotten. They want to shut you out of the free world of God’s grace so that you will always depend on them for approval and direction, making them feel important.Afterwards we discussed what “flattery” meant and wondered if it was any different from “encouragement.” No, this was not the main point of the fourth chapter in Galatians, but I was amazed by how complex something so seemingly simple can be.
Here are some of the differences we discussed (that I remember):
- Enouraging is without motive — if we are flattering someone, it is usually to get something out of the person or get them to like us, etc.
- Encouraging is, “You’re doing a good job, keep it up!” Flattering is, “You’re are good.”
- Sometimes it depends on who is doing the encouraging/flattering: If someone who never says nice things to you suddenly comes to you with praise, they may be flattering you (with motive); if someone who often says nice things to you — someone you trust — comes to you with praise, it is probably encouragement.
- Could it be that encouragement and flattery are the same and that the difference comes by the way we receive it: Do you receive praise and look for motive or for motivation?
Merrian-Webster defines “encourage“ as this:
to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope“Flattering“ is defined as:
to praise excessively especially from motives of self-interestSo then, there is a definitive difference. But I still wonder: Is “flattery” always sprinkled with motive? Can we flatter someone without wanting something out of it? Or, is that really just encouragement?
What do you think?
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Comments (6)
Funny girl, that Mary.
» Comment by dennis the menace () , on May 19, 2005 at 1:32 pm
and where did you get that pull up pic?? haha. reminds me of our health class textbooks.
» Comment by dennis the menace () , on May 19, 2005 at 1:34 pm
About the pic… Hehe! 
And Mary is taken, so flattery will get you no where.
And Mary is taken, so flattery will get you no where.
» Comment by timsamoff () (URL), on May 19, 2005 at 1:36 pm
TAKEN?! DAMN!
» Comment by dennis the menace () , on May 23, 2005 at 10:32 am
Funny… this morning I was asking the Lord to show me the “difference” between “encouragement” and “flattery”... we NEVER want to think that as believers we could be discerning that the latter, flattery s in operation, but the Lord impressed this thought on me…“People who appear to be DRIVEN, are thos in need of affirmation and encouragement”... ok… so I’m blonde and it’s pretty deep, but it got me thinking…if we are Barnabas’s to people, they get “inspired” and “motivated”, but if we throw them an occasional “flattery”, as you say, is our motive to “get more work out of them?” or to inspire… it’s the “heart” huh!!??? love Bridgi hxhxhx
» Comment by Bridget () , on December 14, 2005 at 11:34 am
Thanks for your thoughts, Bridget. I appreciate it. I think the answer to your last question is most likely “yes,” but that’s just one opinion.
» Comment by timsamoff () (URL), on December 14, 2005 at 1:27 pm