Tim Samoff // Weblog (old)

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Dude.. took the bus for the first time in a year. Its kinda like not going on a rollercoaster for a long time. You have to adjust to the environment all over again. Yesterday, had this “rock” couple with this crying kid my WHOLE trip. And the Worst Parents Ever Award goes toooo…. Man, mom was like mid 30’s probably but looked older. Which didn’t help she was piling on the foundation and wearing Hot Topic’s latest line. Then dad had the post rock guy haircut (dyed and shaggy but not really wild) and some crazy ass sores on his arms (track marks maybe?! ugh!). And lil junior.. Dinosaur Jr! This kid cried for the whole trip which was 3 minutes and he was falling on other people’s laps including mine… throwing a fit. Hey, morons, this is why God created the minivan!! Ugh. Mom didnt want to hold jr. cause he was messing up her already poorly and over applied foundation… Dad let him cry and just let him throw a tantrum at everyone else’s expense. I’m used to kids now but it was still highly irritating. I don’t know why i didnt just say something. What was he gonna do, air guitar at me?! Ugh. Gonna take the bus again today… we’ll see what happens this time.

Oh yeah, hilarious proverb. “i wore the hat” nice!!!

dennisthemenace () - August 18, 2005 at 6:16 pm

Ha ha! Typical funny bus story. I love it!

timsamoff () (URL) - August 19, 2005 at 10:26 am

correction… not 3 minutes, i meant 30 MINUTES!!!!

Yesterday someone offered to take me home. i unhesitantly accepted.

Oh yea, and forgot my CD case of 200 CD’s on the bus that morning! They found them. Have to wait 3 days for them to show up in lost and found. don’t ask….

dennisthemenace () - August 19, 2005 at 10:43 am

Holy cow, Dennis. Sheesh.

timsamoff () (URL) - August 19, 2005 at 10:52 am

“I wore the hat.” If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that…

Todd () (URL) - August 19, 2005 at 11:09 am

Seems like if you wore the hat, you would have a nickel for everytime… What with it presumably being lucky and all.

timsamoff () (URL) - August 19, 2005 at 11:15 am

haha.. True. You’d need ALOT of luck though for it to amount to anything.. keep your hat on!

dennisthemenace () - August 19, 2005 at 11:16 am

F**k the bus! Yeah, thats right… F**K the bus! Oh.. my.. gosh.. Yesterday was like…traumatic! First, on my morning bus, its over crowded. Then i get on and the bus takes off and i’m thrown embarrasingly into the lap of some stranger. Luckily, she was quite forgiving. Then i’m stuck next to chatty Kathy (well, his name probably wasn’t Kathy). But he talks to me the whole way… Dude, its morning, i just fell on this lady and i’m on my way to a job i hate. Please just… leave me be. Then there’s added nutjobs that ride the bus. Some chick who would agonizingly whine “Ooowww” everytime someone would brush by her to get to a seat. “Okay lady, lets not get dramatic” I said. Hey, i could have said a lot worse so just back off. By the time i get to work, as i told my buddy Tim here via IM, i needed a F**Kin’ drink. Or a cigarette. I don’t even smoke. Man! its only 7:30 AM and already, i’ve had it with people. Well, fast forward to the end of the day, i get on my evening bus home. This has got to be better, right? WRONG! So, we get about half way home and the bus makes a sudden stop. I’m asleep… wakes me up but no harm. However as i open my eyes people at the front of the bus are lying on top of one another. Who the hell trains these bus drivers? NASCAR? So as people all get to thier feet, we wait. and wait… at this point, i remove my headphones and the lady sitting next to me informs me “We aren’t gonna be moving for a while”. Apparently, someone got hurt.. “Of course” i think to myself. The bus sits for a while and the mob get restless. Okay, here is where some sort of public speaking skills might have come in handy. “Ladies and gentlemen, i can’t drive worth s**t, and i have thrown one of our passengers into the windshield… would you kindly exit and wait for the next bus”. Or you know… something like that. But nothing. She doesn’t make any announcement, address the passengers. But i can see she’s walking on and off the bus. The bus behind us with the same route stops right next to us and the bus just empties.. everyone for themselves! I’m thinking “Oh great, as if the buses aren’t crowded enough… forget it!” Dude i walked right past that mob trying to cram into an already full bus and whispered a quiet “F*******k that” as i kept going. For a mile.. i was so angry. I get to the next stop and get on the bus. After one stop i’m asked to “clear the area for a wheelchair passenger” and the bus driver is talking to me like a child. I didn’t hear him the first time cause i was busy listening to Guns n’ Roses (Welcome to the Jungle appropriately- even fire trucks with sirens blaring drove by as the song began which has a “busy city” sample also with sirens – kinda neat). So i take off my headphones and ask “excuse me?” He practically yells at me. I am gonna f**kin’ pop you in face, mr. bus driver. Finally i get home and head straight for the gym. THAT was a good workout, let me tell you. Today, you ask? Oh, i DROVE.

dennisthemenace () - September 13, 2005 at 09:58 am

Man, Dennis… You do have your own Blog, don’t you?

Sorry for the trauma… My bus ride this morning was quite enjoyable: I read a little, slept a little, watched the scenery pass by. Ahhh.

timsamoff () (URL) - September 13, 2005 at 10:08 am

haha..

I hate you.

dennisthemenace () - September 13, 2005 at 10:26 am