Tim Samoff // Weblog

I could start at my most recent “ooops” (as I have had many), which was to buy a bagel for breakfast and then forget and eat cereal instead. But that is but a minor “ooops” and it is not one that requires much explanation. Yet, my personal history of “ooopses” is long and sordid and would fill undoubtedly volumes. There are countless minor “ooopses” (the ones that can occur multiple times even within one day — as exemplified above) as well as a few major “ooopses” too. This story, though, is going to rely on a “mediumish-ooops-of-the-possibly-once-in-a-while-sort”; the mundane “ooopses,” like locking one’s keys in one’s car, or leaving one’s headlights on, or…

It was some weeks before Christmas and I decided that one of the gifts that I was going to give to my wife was the latest recording from our friend Eric Hurst, “Goodbye Welcome Thankyou.” An easy, simple gift, for sure, so I headed over to his web site and ordered it.

As Christmas approached, I saw no sign of the ordered CD in my mailbox. No big deal, I thought, There’re still a few days left. Surely it will show up. But I still did not see it by the Friday prior to Christmas.

Thankfully, on Sunday evening, Eric stopped me at church to let me know that he had put the CD in the mail on Friday. (At the same time, he wondered why he didn’t just bring it to church with him.) Great! I would definitely receive the CD in the mail by Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve and the CD had still not arrived. Well, I thought (I do a lot of thinking to myself), I guess I’m just not going to get it in time. By now, holiday-stress far passed encroaching, I conceded to the fact that I was just going to have to find an alternative stocking-stuffer.

The week after Christmas, I took it upon myself to e-mail Eric and ask him if he had received our package back in the mail or something. He had and so we made plans to meet for lunch so that he could give it to me in person. Past-due for Christmas, but it would have to do.

The next Monday, Eric and I went to lunch and, surprisingly enough, Eric had his own “ooops” by not bringing the package with him. At this point, it was just funny. I almost chalked this particular CD up to a loss, but Eric assured me that he would have it the next time we saw each other at church.

So, two months later (Eric didn’t show once and then we didn’t show once and then church was cancelled for two weeks due to extreme winter weather) Eric hands us the CD. My wife and I are ecstatic to finally possess our long-awaited Christmas gift. The burden is off of Eric’s shoulders. There is happiness for everyone involved.

On the drive home from church that night, my wife eagerly opened the package that had been sent through the postal service and then personally given to us by the original sender. She removed the CD from the mailing envelope, took off the shrink wrap and we gazed at its beauty. (Really. After waiting so long for something — and even trying to get it in other ways — that thing can actually turn into a “Holy Grail” of sorts.)

After viewing our “prize,” my wife placed the CD back into its mailing envelope and we continued our drive home. When we arrived, we gathered our things (CD included) and proceeded inside.

On the way, though, I found a trash bag that had somehow fallen out of our dumpster and made its way to the street. Being the good samaritan that I am, I picked up the bag and took it back up to the dumpster. This was no ordinary trash bag, though. Inside was some sort of plastic container that was lighter than air — something that made the bag float in the wind (hence the reason that it was out on the street). After numerous attempts of trying to throw the bag into the dumpster, only to have it continually fly away in the wind every time I threw it in, I finally decided to walk it up and place it in a safe spot on the side of the dumpster.

At this same time, both my wife and I thought that it’d be a good idea to put the mailing envelope that our CD came in in the dumpster as well — why haul it inside to just throw it away there? Job done, we continued inside.

Three days later and we wonder why we can’t find the CD anywhere. No, we couldn’t have…

“Goodbye Welcome Thankyou” — the CD that we were never meant to have. We have been told that it is a good one.

(But don’t get me started on that cursed dumpster: the site where, over a year ago, I threw a plastic bag away — one that looked a lot like trash, but actually held all of the silverware that we had gotten for our wedding. But in that case, we were able to rescue it before the trash was emptied and anyway… That’s another “ooops” for another day.)